Today this article from Esquire, Five Men Reflect On Their Self-Isolation Moustaches, comes across my desk. It featured five gents being interviewed about their mustaches.
Despite the fact that my ‘stache has …
♣︎ appeared on national TV
♥︎ was displayed in epic 10 feet wide signage on the stage of the Rio Hotel & Casino
♠︎ was instrumental in me fooling magic icons Penn & Teller
♦︎ and it’s pretty darn cool
…Esquire declined to interview my mustache. Or me. I’m not really sure how this works.
Well.
I will correct this mistake and interview myself using some of the actual questions from the article.
When did you start growing it?
Puberty.
How does it make you feel?
What?
Who has the best mustache in the world?
What? Come again?
What message do you have for the haters right now?
What? I don’t even know that that means.
Any grooming tips?
It’s a mustache. It’s not that complicated.
What was your inspiration?
Son, who wrote these questions?
Are you liable to get heavily involved in mustache-related subcultures?
You’re going to have to leave now.
Best,
Doc Dixon
Both myself and my mustache are available for online events worldwide.